The
Alisandra Photography Blog

Well, I’ve done it. I missed a day blogging. Friday came and went and blogging didn’t happen. I’m ok with it. I woke up Friday morning and got a call from my mom. My grandpa has been ill for a while, but the latest timeline from hospice was without a sense of time – “A matter of the will,” they said. So, I drove up with Chad on Friday to hold my grandpa’s hand for a while. And that is always going to be better than meeting my blogging goals for the week.

This weekend I sat in this room. Loving how things are still the same, but taking in all of the changes. Their bedroom is light blue with framed photos of flowers hanging on each wall, and where the bed used to come out of the corner at an angle, it now is pushed up against the wall. This allows the space for the hospital bed to fit comfortably. The old photos on the dressers sit next to the candy dishes filled with mints. But now there are also oxygen monitors and other small plastic medical devices that have made their home on the vanity top.

Grandma walked up to me and Chad and asked how we were doing. How WE’RE doing? She is the most service oriented woman I know. NEVER have I heard her ask for anything. Anyway, to keep things light, I complemented her necklace, a small silver butterfly with a few rhinestones.  She said that she put it on one day and couldn’t get it off. But also, she keeps it on because grandpa loves it. I watched later as he reached for it and said, “beautiful.” Grandma brought over a jewelry box on the top of her dresser. In it was a necklace that grandpa had ordered for her for christmas this year. His request was a heart with words on it. I wasn’t there when she opened it, but the heart shaped charm had a scroll across with the word, “Love.” It was perfect. “He picked this out for me and I’ll keep it for ever and ever and ever,” she said.

Watching them interact this weekend made me feel selfish. I watched as she, without hesitation, served her husband of over 55 years. Anything he needs, she gets. She holds his hand. Refreshes his water. Straightens out his legs. So beautiful, their relationship is.

When Chad and I first started dating, he gave me a necklace. I was overwhelmed. And after this weekend, I remembered how I felt when he gave it to me. Then I tried multiplying that feeling by 55 years of marriage, raising three children, and so many ups and downs… I know I can’t feel that feeling, but if I aim for the marriage my grandparents have, I imagine I’ll be keeping it forever. And ever. And ever.