The
Alisandra Photography Blog

Brett is one of those girls you describe as awesome, and you mean it. I met her at a wedding when I ran into her husband, a fellow JMU grad. The two of them live in Charlottesville and invited Chad and I to visit Portico when we were moving there! So we did. And when I put out a cry for a gym buddy, Brett agreed to get up with me at 6:30a.m. for a gym date. [Who does that?!] Anyway, as I got to know her, over the standard out of breath conversations on the treadmill, I learned how passionate and honest she is about her life, her husband, her struggles and her celebrations. She is a true light for the Lord, and when I was thinking of who to ask to guest blog, I knew I wanted her to write something for Marriage Mondays.

Before I hand it over to Brett, I want you to add her blog to your Google Reader right now. Do it. I mean, if writing were a spiritual gift, Brett would have it. She makes you feel like you could reach into her blog posts and hug her… then take her out to coffee because you’ve been there too. Without any more of my ramblings, here is a marriage monday post just for you, with love from Brett.

© 2012 Marcy May Photography

1. Who are you? Brett Baker! I love to blog part time. I work full time for an educational group travel company as an account manager.

2. How did you and your husband meet? Nathaniel and I met at JMU through the a capella community. He came up to me and introduced himself, and I told him my name was “Brett. Like the guy’s name, like Brett Favre.” And the rest, as they say, is history. 🙂

***

My husband and I generally don’t go grocery shopping together. I’m decisive. He’s….well, he’s not.  I will have checked off my whole grocery list and loaded things into the car while N. is still trying to decide between beef or chicken kebabs. It’s no one’s fault. We’re just wired differently. He can meditate on a decision for days. I have the attention span of a puppy.

There are some things that we simply can’t do together.

Grocery shopping is one, yard work is another. Registering online for baby items is yet another– recent discovery. He wants to research….extensively. I want to read the first few reviews and say “yay” or “nay,” and that’s that.

If there was one thing that I wish people had told me (and trust me—folks told me A LOT that I wish they hadn’t), it’d probably be

Not everything about you two is going to be-or supposed to be-compatible.

Or

It’s OK if you don’t like every single thing about your spouse.

But most importantly,

This whole marriage thing isn’t meant to be perfect.

We put a lot of emphasis on perfect compatibility these days. We’re picky. Maybe too picky.

I was reading a book recently where the main character said to his gal, “I like literally everything about you.” And that’s how their romance began. I was sitting on my sofa eating salt and vinegar chips when I read this. I shook a greasy finger at the page and yelled, “That’s a LIE!”

Now, I love a lot of things about my man: the scar on his lip, how his mouth hangs open when he’s thinking about something, and how he can’t help but hum or sing a song 89% of the day. But there are a few things about my man that I can’t stand, and that’s OK; how he’ll leave his laundry in the dryer until kingdom come is just one. He would tell you that he hates how I leave my crap around the house, and that’s just fine.

If we go into marriage expecting every little part of our lives to click, then we’re bound to be disappointed. It took me probably a year into my marriage to realize that it’s OK if we don’t want to be together every second of every day. I thought I was doing something wrong-being mean or unlovable. Nope-that’s just what happens when two humans enter into a holy relationship.

And that’s OK.