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The preparations of the heart belong to man,
but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.
~Proverbs 16:1
I’m a dork. I was SO excited about marriage counseling. I couldn’t wait to learn more about Chad, fill out worksheets together, and talk about our feelings.*PUKE*…I know. We met with Dr. Hap about 4 times. [He has his PhD. in Hebrew. This man was smart.] And it was NOTHING like I thought it was going to be. No worksheets. No feelings. No psychology. Pure scripture. Here was one of our assignments:
Read Proverbs. Yes, the entire book of the bible. Write down each verse that involves Family, Finances, Communication, and Sex. Go.
Now, if you are not the bible reading type of person, I understand that you might want to skim over this blog post. But give it a little longer. Look at what I found. IN THE BIBLE. Just for a little background, Proverbs was written for young men. Men who were soon going to be finding a wife. And when I think about that basic fact, I find it very intriguing that 30+ proverbs directly speak to communication, 26 directly speak to finances, 21 directly speak to family, and only 1 about sex [granted, they did have Song of Solomon…]. Clearly God is trying to say something. We need A LOT of help when it comes to communicating.
A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire. What if I retreated every time I had a fight with Chad instead of talking things out? Put perverse lips far from you. Don’t talk bad about your husband. Or with him. Or to him. A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Don’t nag, ladies–it’s annoying. I just love the wisdom in these verses.
Miscommunication has been the culprit of most of my fights with Chad, and I was a Communication major in college. Whether we say one thing and mean another, or we don’t listen, or even aim to harm, that is the cause. I really think God was on to something when he put so many comments on this topic in the Bible. I’m constantly trying to improve in communication. If you feel the same way, look no further.
I’m really looking forward to reading these posts. I’m not married and not even close to it, I don’t fall under the church-goer label and tend to be the one that would skim over bible heavy posts but not yours. I love scripture, I find it interesting. You have a way of communicating things in a very real, objective, inspiring kind of way. Love your honesty.
I LOVE THIS. seriously. this is awesome.
good stuff. i’m so encouraged by you friend!